


Something Blooms

by DrownedRedhead



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Except not really?, First Date, First Kiss, Fluff, Gag Gifts, Hardcore fluff, M/M, New Years Festival, Progressing Relationship, Series of Oneshots, Thus the rating, ill probably go through and do some editing of this, might reupload some chapters, mostly emotional, only slightly in a sexual way for like two seconds, self exploration, some of the chapters are a little sexual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6036853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrownedRedhead/pseuds/DrownedRedhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has decided he's in love with Yamaguchi. They go from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Silence

**Author's Note:**

> These will mostly be very short.  
> I read the manga, so if you only watch the anime, there may be spoilers. And by may I mean there are season 3 spoilers literally in the first chapter. Sorry.

“Tadashi.”

He blinks, surprised. Night has just fallen and in the chilly evening the sudden utterance of his name somehow feels as if it has physically shattered the silence. They are alone in the street and he has to resist the urge to stop. Something about this moment feels momentous and he’s afraid that it shouldn’t be experienced on the go.

“Tadashi,” he’s prompted.

“Oh! Yeah, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi replies, looking up at his friend sidelong. A passing streetlight lights up his blond hair. Tsukishima, despite having initiated the conversation, seems unsure how to continue.

“I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a long time.”

Yamaguchi stops in his tracks. Tsukishima takes a few more steps then turns to face him. He seems nervous and Yamaguchi is sure that his wide eyed, open mouthed stare is not helping. Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck, then laughs, a little nervously.

“You are not at all a romantic, are you, Tsukki?”

“I suppose not,” he admits, and Yamaguchi is pleased to see his face turns a little pink. Yamaguchi steps up beside Tsukishima and they continue on down the street in chilly silence for quite some time before Yamaguchi asks, “Why now?”

“In the match against Shiritorizawa, when I got hurt. I remember thinking, I wanted so badly to get back in. I was worried we’d fail, I was in pain. And I despite all that, the look on your face when you saw the blood,” he trails off and shakes his head. “It took me a while to get you out of my head. I was worried because you were and I realised how much your worry meant to me. It’s taken me a while to figure out what I was feeling. Is that weird?”

“Maybe a little,” Yamaguchi admits. Tsukishima shrugs and stuffs his hands in his pockets, letting his eyes wander up to the skyline. Yamaguchi drifts a little closer and stares up at the stars. The night is still silent but something about it is comforting, like the comforting scent of baking.

“Kei,” he finally whispers, for some reason afraid to shatter the silence again. Tsukishima looks down, catches his gaze and in that moment, the night is warm around them. “I think I love you too.” Tsukishima nods. They part ways as if nothing had changed. Yamaguchi wonders if anything has.


	2. Distracted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't try to think during practice.

“You seem distracted, Yamaguchi, is something wrong?” Noya asks, jogging up to him. “Just because you’re a second year now doesn’t mean you get to slack off!”

“Oh! Sorry, sorry.” Yamaguchi blushes when he realises he’d been standing there with the ball in his hand without serving. Noya had probably been trying to get his attention before this now. He was working on putting a little more power into it and Noya wanted to get in the extra practice against the floating serve.

“You got that pink look in your eyes.”

“Pink look?” Yamaguchi asks, frowning. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“Rosy.” Noya grins and sidles up closer beside him. “Yams got a girlfriend, Yams got a girlfriend,” Noya sings quietly, laughing through his nose.

“A girlfriend. Right.”

“Boyfriend? Fuck friend? Other?” Noya asks, eyebrows wiggling. Yamaguchi turns scarlet and tries to distract himself by watching some of the new first year’s practice. They had more applicants this year, after having gone to nationals again. None of them were as ridiculously innately talented as Shouyo or Kageyama, but several had real talent. He catches glance of Shouyo doing something far more quickly than a normal person and sees a few of the first years goggling. Right, practice.

“Let’s focus on practice,” he mumbles. Noya only laughs loudly and runs back to the other side of the net, promising not to miss any of his serves. At least he hadn’t been distracted during regular practice, though it’d been hard not to watch the way Tsukishima’s muscles moved when he jumped and the intent look on his face and the joy and triumph colouring his eyes when he shoots down a spike and the way his hair sticks to his forehead and-

“Yamaguchi!”

“Right!” He tosses the ball up and jumps to serve.


	3. Possibilities

He’s just stripped off his shirt when Noya and Tanaka both assault him. Tanaka slings an arm over his shoulders and Noya bumps Yamaguchi’s hip with his.

“Hey, kid, Noya tells me you got yourself a squeeze!”

“Oh, no, no, don’t say that ever again,” Noya interrupts and Tanaka shrugs this off amiably.

“Whatever! My point stands.”

Yamaguchi struggles free of them and pulls on his uniform shirt. “I wouldn’t say that,” he mumbles, crawling out of his shorts and into his pants with surprising speed. “I’m just, um, considering some possibilities is all.”

“There are possibilities? As in more than one?”

“No, not really. I mean, sort of, I dunno. I’m just considering stuff!” Yamaguchi is flustered, and says this a little louder than he meant. Ennoshita descends upon them.

“Tanaka. Nishinoya. You aren’t picking on Yamaguchi, are you?” He asks in the polite but forceful way of his. Tanaka makes a strange face and Noya jumps, then grins.

“No way! We’re interrogating him.”

“How is that better?” Ennoshita asks, bemused. Yamaguchi uses this break to finish dressing and grab his bag.“Listen, you two,” Yamaguchi says, drawing the attention of all three of them. “I’m not dating anyone right now.”

“Right now?” Noya presses, wiggling his eyebrows. Yamaguchi shrugs and looks up when a shadow passes over them. Tsukishima has been drawn to their little crowd. Yamaguchi turns pink and wiggles away from them.

“Put your shirt on, Tanaka. By the time we all get dressed, the store is going to be closed.”

“My popsicles!” Noya cries.

While Noya harasses Tanaka into dressing faster, in the end probably just slowing down the process, Tsukishima looks down at Yamaguchi with a half frown. Yamaguchi tilts his head and smiles up at him. Tsukishima clears his throat and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“So what was that about?” He asks, walking out of the club room with Yamaguchi.

“I was distracted during practice is all,” Yamaguchi replies, shrugging. Tsukishima does not seem convinced but doesn’t press the issue. They walk in silence until Yamaguchi reaches out and takes Tsukishima by the sleeve. He looks down and is startled by the scarlet staining Yamaguchi’s ears and neck; his head is bent so that his hair is hiding his face but Tsukishima is positive his cheeks are just as red.

“Tsukki, can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Are we, um, dating or something now?” He asks, shuffling a little closer to Tsukishima, who seems to be seriously pondering this question. They stand there in silence as the sun sinks down the skyline.

“I hadn’t thought about it. If you want to.” Tsukishima looks kind of lost and Yamaguchi bites his lip in order to keep from giggling. He shuffles a little closer to Tsukishima and looks up at him, the hair falling out of his eyes. The air sticks in Tsukishima’s throat when Yamaguchi looks up at him, face pink and eyes wide and soft and earnest and - He chokes and his face turns pink.

“Tsukki, can I hold your hand?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima agrees. Yamaguchi slips his hand down Tsukishima’s sleeve to curl his fingers through Tsukishima’s. Yamaguchi bites his lip again. Tsukishima’s hand is warm and large. Both their hands are calloused from training. Yamaguchi’s heart beats in his throat.

_I’m holding hands with Tsukishima. In a romantic context. He’s so warm. He’s so close. We’re walking so close._

Yamaguchi jumps a little when Tsukishima pulls him a little closer. He looks up to see a strange expression on Tsukishima’s face. Something hot and frenzied, like a cornered animal. Yamaguchi stares up at him silently, waiting for him to say something, do something, anything but stare at him with that heady expression.

“You’re so soft, Tadashi,” Tsukishima breathes. Yamaguchi almost jumps out of his skin when Tsukishima runs a calloused thumb over his knuckles. Tsukishima chuckles. “Jumpy, are we?”

“Shut up, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi mumbles. Tsukishima laughs, squeezes Yamaguchi’s hand, then let’s go.

“Come home with me. I’ll help you with English. We have a test soon, remember?”

“Oh, shit, you’re right!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got up early to post this because I'm going to be busy all day. Anyway, for some reason every time I update with a chapter the end chapter becomes undefined, so I'm just going to let it sit there but know that there'll be around fifteen chapters.


	4. Candlelight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has sort of..blink and you'll miss it allusions to masochism so just take that under advisement.  
> Also, I'm looking for a beta reader, if you're interested.

Yamaguchi stares at himself in the mirror quietly. The bathroom is lit only by the flickering light of the candle sitting on the sink counter. He has bruises on his arms. Noya and Tanaka had decided that he needed receiving practice, as if he’d ever be in long enough for it to really matter. He shakes his head to clear away that thought. Doubt wouldn’t get him anywhere, now would it?

Yamaguchi stares at his freckles instead, frowning. He vacillates between hatred and neutrality when it comes to those freckles. He likes his nose, though, which he thinks is probably unusual. He runs a hand down his arm and winces when he presses too hard on one. He bites his lip and does it again. It hurt but it sent a strange thrill up his arm.

Chewing at his lip in thought, Yamaguchi turns on the water and splashes his face with a handful of water to centre himself. He watches the candlelight sparkle off the flow of the water, eyes blank. Unbidden and unwanted, the familiar heartbeat of panic hammers through his body. He berates himself soundly for the onslaught of ‘what if’s taking him over. It’s been three days, and you’re already worried that he’ll get tired of you, he scolds. How long have we been friends? Stop that right now!

Unfortunately, commanding his anxiety to disappear rarely works. He sighs, grabs the candle, and walks out of the bathroom. The house is pretty dark too. He takes the candle to his room and flops down onto his bed. He stares at the shadows flickering across the ceiling from the candlelight for a long time, considering the strange way the pain had sent shudders up his spine. He sighs and rolls over.


	5. 4.5: Think About It

“Tadashi?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to take you on a date.” Yamaguchi looks over at Tsukishima and taps the eraser of his pencil against the desk. It’s been two weeks now, and nothing much about their routine had changed, except for the hand holding and that strange expression Yamaguchi catches Tsukishima staring at him with every so often.

“Where to?” Yamaguchi asks, frowning at his math homework. He erases a few numbers and retries. He thinks he gets it right this time. He rips a bite off his sandwich and moves on to the next one. Tsukishima tilts his head in thought, leaning over to watch Yamaguchi work on this problem.

“I don’t know. Where do you want to go? Like, dinner and a movie?”

“Doesn’t that usually end in sex?” Yamaguchi asks, a half smile on his lips. He looks up when Tsukishima remains silent. “What?”

“What kind of romance novels are you reading?” Tsukishima asks. Yamaguchi flushes darkly. He looks back down to his homework, covering his face with one hand. Tsukishima laughs and stands, putting his things in his pack.

“I’ll see you at practice. Think about it.”


	6. Obviously

“We should go to the fair,” Yamaguchi says suddenly. It’s just after practice and he’d been helping clean. Noya looks up at him, confused.

“What? There’s a fair? I’ll go to the fair with you!”

“I was kind of talking to myself,” Yamaguchi mumbles. Noya squints at him then straightens.

“You’re going on a date,” Noya says. It is not a question. Yamaguchi shrugs. Noya sets a fist on his hip. “With him, aren’t you?”

That startles Yamaguchi. He blinks and looks over at Noya and bites his lip. “With who?”

“You know who.”

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi admits.

“Finally!” Noya laughs, smacking Yamaguchi on the shoulder. He winces. What was with these guys and putting way too much force into friendly violence? Tsukishima never participated in that.  Yamaguchi rubs the back of his neck and looks away. “Dude, don’t make that face. The dumb ones don’t have a clue.”

You are one of the dumb ones, Noya. “Oh, um, that’s reassuring, I guess? Know what?”

“Dude, you two are like meant for each other. Everyone knows it. At least, Chika and me and Suga and Daichi and Asahi. The smart ones.” Noya nods agreeably and wanders out. Yamaguchi stares after him for a while in shock. After a moment he hurries out to change out of his practice gear.


	7. Tell Me What To Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has some allusions to D/s dynamics. I'm setting it up for the smut that will eventually come in the form of me putting this into a series with the smut in its own story, so if you don't want to read that, you can skip about the middle of it.

“Tsukki, we should go to the fair.”

“There’s a fair?” Tsukishima asks, one eyebrow raised in a way that distinctly says he doubts there’s one nearby.

“I want funnel cake,” Yamaguchi counters. Tsukishima laughs and crosses his ankles on the coffee table. Yamaguchi hesitates then leans against Tsukishima. He stiffens a moment then curls an arm around the brunet’s shoulders.

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima mumbles, turning his face to press his nose into Yamaguchi’s hair. It’s so soft and smells like peppermint. Tsukishima remembers not liking peppermint as a child, but now he does. He can’t remember when he stopped hating it.

“Hmmm?” Yamaguchi presses a little closer to Tsukishima comfortably.

“Make me tea.”

“Okay.”

“In the big white mug, not the brown one.”

“Okay,” Yamaguchi says again, standing. He feels warm from Tsukishima’s body. And maybe something else but he isn’t sure. Tsukishima stretches out and fumbles in his bag for a book. He listens to Yamaguchi rummage around the kitchen getting things down for a while then gets up and leans against the wall of the kitchen.

Yamaguchi looks strangely beautiful doing domestic things. He isn’t sure why he asked Yamaguchi to make him tea, the urge had just hit him. Yamaguchi is fastidious about measuring the water for the tea, measuring out the leaf, timing the steep to the second. He pours the tea into the big white mug and turns to see Tsukishima watching him.

“Oh! Tsukki, here, your tea!”

“Go put it on the table,” Tsukishima orders quietly. He half expects Yamaguchi to snort at him and make him take the tea, but instead Yamaguchi hums in the affirmative and walks past him to set the tea on the coffee table. Tsukishima feels strange.

“Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi straightens up, cheeks a little dark. Tsukishima forgets his own name for a moment, staring into those big, soft eyes. He swallows and bites the inside of his cheek to bring himself back to Earth. Yamaguchi feels just as strange as Tsukishima, warm on the inside, sort of like when he first hit a service ace, but lower and fuzzier. The air is heavy and Yamaguchi knows that this moment is going to change things but he can’t figure out why.

“Bring me my tea.” His voice is low and it makes Yamaguchi blush. His heart skips a beat when Yamaguchi stands, tea in hand. He takes the mug from Yamaguchi and sips at the tea. White tea, no wonder Yamaguchi didn’t put anything in it; he must know Tsukishima hates sweetening in white tea. He can’t think of anything to say or do other than stare at Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima loves the way Yamaguchi looks. He’s lean and lithe, muscled but less so than Tsukishima himself. He loves the way that sunlight sparkles off Yamaguchi’s dark skin, picks highlights out of dark brown hair, casts shadows over the dips and ridges of his body. Tsukishima reaches out with one hand and brushes some errant hair out of his face. The curve of Yamaguchi’s cheeks is intoxicating. He wants to kiss every freckle.

Instead he takes his hand back and considers the information gathered from the last few minutes. Yamaguchi bites back a whine when Tsukishima takes his hand away but doesn’t say anything, or move, just waits. Waiting to be told what to do, perhaps?

Revelation 1: Yamaguchi’s red face means that he is just as affected by doing what you tell him without question as you are by him doing it without question.

Revelation 2: You’ve changed this moment somehow and now you either have to keep it going or end it. Yamaguchi isn’t going to do anything without prompting.

Revelation 3: Yamaguchi remembers that you don’t take sweetener in white tea, even though you’ve only said anything that one other time he made tea for you while you were sick.

Revelation 4: You are irreparably in love, or at the very least infatuated with, your childhood best friend, even more than you thought you were.

Tsukishima doesn’t really want this moment to end or continue, so he walks to the sofa and beckons Yamaguchi to follow: he does. Tsukishima flops onto the sofa, carefully so as not to spill the tea, and pulls Yamaguchi down with him. Silently, Yamaguchi settles against Tsukishima’s side and in that moment both marvel at how well they fit together. Even if Yamaguchi is all elbows. Tsukishima drinks his tea and reads the book he had abandoned earlier in favour of watching Yamaguchi make tea. He is deeply grateful for that decision. Yamaguchi falls asleep against him and it feels like an honour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I didn't post one Thursday? I've been super sick, fever and everything, so if I did..well, have a bonus. Sorry it's late, if not. Hope you enjoyed this one. I'm so glad I try to stay a couple chapters ahead.


	8. 7.5: Food

“I still want to go to a fair,” Yamaguchi announces, looking up from his notes. Tsukishima snorts.

“You want funnel cake.”

“And cotton candy. And you have to win me a giant stuffed bear at the ring toss or something.”

“More romance novels, huh?”

“Movies, actually, thank you very much.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll take you to the fair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a segue. That's pretty much it. I'm posting this today instead of tomorrow, Tuesday, because it's so tiny.


	9. No Fireworks But At Least There's A Ferris Wheel

He’d hoped he could say “I’ll pick you up at eight”, without sounding ridiculous but he couldn’t, because it was Yamaguchi. The moment he’d called to inform his best friend – boyfriend – that he’d bought tickets to a carnival, Yamaguchi had been ecstatic. He’s worried that once they get there he’ll freak out from all the people and the noise and the lights, but, he had decided, he wanted to fulfil the brunet’s whim, even if it was entirely facetious. Tsukishima knows that Yamaguchi’s real intent behind telling him to make their date a fair had been to see if he would go through with it. And he had. He wonders what Yamaguchi will do now.

That, apparently.

His breath catches when Yamaguchi rushes into the living room where Tsukishima has been waiting. He looks like he tried to fix his hair, but Yamaguchi’s hair always resisted doing anything but allow itself to be brushed. It falls into his eyes messily and Yamaguchi huffs irritably, trying to blow it out of his face.

Yamaguchi doesn’t look noticeably different to someone else, perhaps, but he’s wearing a tight, sleeveless shirt in the deep blue that sets off his eyes and dark skin in a way that Tsukishima has always loved, not to mention the way he’s showing off his muscles. Yamaguchi always looks so good in blue. Tsukishima wonders a brief moment how he’d look with blue eyeshadow. He shakes his head and his eyes fall, fall to Yamaguchi’s long legs in jeans that fit _just right_.

Tsukishima’s eyes narrow suspiciously and Yamaguchi tries to cover his smirk by blinking up at Tsukishima innocently. He sniffs at Yamaguchi, unconvinced. He gets a grin in response and a hand. Tsukishima takes it and stands, pulling Yamaguchi close to him. Yamaguchi looks surprised then laughs softly when Tsukishima cups his cheek.

“You’re quite the dork in private, you know that?” Yamaguchi teases, but he turns his head to press his face gently against Tsukishima’s palm. His eyelashes brush against Tsukishima’s thumb and his breath is warm. Tsukishima huffs loudly and takes his hand back, pulling away from Yamaguchi, who laughs at him again.

Yamaguchi shrugs into a jacket while Tsukishima is shoving on his shoes. It’s just a loose sports jacket, not his team jacket, but something about it makes Tsukishima’s stomach twist. He sniffs at his sentimentality and waits for Yamaguchi to slip on his shoes. Yamaguchi pats a pocket to make sure he has his keys then closes the door behind them.

Yamaguchi chatters about whatever comes to mind while they walk and Tsukishima makes all the right noises in the right places. Despite his uninterested expression, he’s quite invested in the conversation and at one point spends a good few minutes talking about the Canadian prime minister. Yamaguchi isn’t sure why he cares, but Tsukishima has always had a passing interest in politics and that’s enough for Yamaguchi.

“Tsukki?”

“Hm?” Tsukishima hums, glancing down at Yamaguchi. He smiles and holds his hand out. Tsukishima takes a moment to understand, then takes Yamaguchi’s hand. He smiles at Tsukishima like a ray of sunshine and Tsukishima’s heart stops.

Yamaguchi lets go of his hand when they approach the fairgrounds. Tsukishima’s hit by a wave of a curious blend of regret and longing by the loss but he knows that, despite Yamaguchi’s posturing when they’re alone, he doesn’t like the thought of being watched very much. Yamaguchi isn’t really about PDA, he thinks.

Tsukishima pays, despite Yamaguchi’s protests, and they wander through the small crowd for some time, talking, or more specifically, quietly making fun of people. Tsukishima is always entertained by people who think that Yamaguchi is a quiet, kind guy. Quiet, sure, but there’s a reason they’ve been friends so long and part of it is that they have the same dry, razor sharp sense of humour. Yamaguchi is just quieter about it. Tsukishima doesn’t know it, but it’s funny to Yamaguchi, too.

They amuse themselves like this for a full half hour before Yamaguchi smells funnel cake and seizes Tsukishima’s arm. They stop and he looks down at the brunet’s head. His face is turned up and away, sniffing at the air. After a moment he pulls roughly at Tsukishima’s arm, dragging him away towards the smell. Yamaguchi buys a funnel cake and they sit to share it.

The night passes that way, a few rides, walking around, then food. Yamaguchi buys cotton candy after the funnel cake, popcorn, and at one point five octopus balls. They share most everything but Yamaguchi makes Tsukishima buy his own octopus balls. Close to the end of the night, Tsukishima leans down to whisper in Yamaguchi’s ear.

“Isn’t this about when the main couple ride on the Ferris wheel and look out over the light of the city at the top?” His breath is warm and even though Yamaguchi knows he’s doing it to tease, he still nearly jumps out of his skin at the feel of Tsukishima behind him.

“Ah! I suppose that’s true! Do you want to ride the Ferris wheel, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks, smiling up at him. Tsukishima doesn’t reply, just shrugs and blushes a little. Yamaguchi resists the urge to roll him eyes then stops and turns to look up at Tsukishima, one eyebrow cocked just slightly. “Tsukki, tell me you want to take me on the Ferris wheel like in a shitty shoujo manga.”

“Ride the Ferris wheel with me, Tadashi,” Tsukishima says after a moment’s pause. Yamaguchi grins and ignores the fuzzy feeling in his stomach. Instead, he turns on heel and walks towards the Ferris wheel, making Tsukishima lengthen his stride a few steps to catch up.

Yamaguchi hesitates a little then offers his hand to Tsukishima. He takes it and squeezes it reassuringly. No one seems to notice or really care, but Yamaguchi’s shoulders are still tense. Tsukishima tries to be reassuring and he thinks it helps, but Yamaguchi’s anxiety is not easily stemmed.

They’re shuffled into the cab of the Ferris wheel and Yamaguchi relaxes as the ride begins. He even scoots closer and grabs Tsukishima’s hand. It’s not the smoothest ride but the jerks and bumps are forgotten when they come to a halt at the peak of the wheel. Yamaguchi hums, pleased, and presses his face against the Plexiglas of the cab window.

Underneath them the lights of the city glitter and the people look like ants. They’re only barely far enough out of the main body of the city to see the ocean off to their right and he sighs against the window in contentment, breath fogging up the glass. Tsukishima glances out the window, but up; night had fallen and this far up there were more stars than on ground level.

“Tadashi.”

“Hmmmmm?” Yamaguchi hums, turning his face to look at Tsukishima. The cab rocks a little when Tsukishima grabs his hand and pulls a startled Yamaguchi towards him. The cab rocks again when the Ferris wheel moves. Tsukishima doesn’t seem to notice, instead enraptured by staring at the beautiful brunet who is, thankfully, a master of Tsukishima reading, and lets him stare. Tsukishima thinks that the flush his staring causes is all the more attractive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First date chapter! Fun fact, I have never dated anyone so I have no clue how to write this stuff. When should the first kiss happen? Does someone have ideas? What to couples fight about? Eh, questions, questions.


	10. How Anxiety Effects Schoolwork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, but don't worry! I've got big plans for later. Everything looks so much shorter in web format than in Word..

Yamaguchi thinks that school is not the place to express undying love, or really any sort of love, or really, he thinks, the best place is in private. He isn’t a fan of PDA, it makes him nervous. He isn’t a fan of roller coasters, or pushy people, or very large men, which is ironic, or high places without tall fences, or below average grades or even average grades. Yamaguchi does, however, like the feel of Tsukishima’s chest against his back.

The roof, he thinks, is a pretty safe place, so long as he doesn’t look over the edge. Here, nestled between Tsukishima’s legs while the taller man attempts to tutor him in English. Though, Yamaguchi thinks petulantly, he’s not _that_ much better in English. Tsukishima flicks his temple lightly.

“Ow!”

“You’re not paying attention. What are you thinking about?”

“You,” Yamaguchi replies honestly, twisting around slightly to see expressions of shock, pleasure, and bemusement cycle over Tsukishima’s face. He settles back against Tsukishima’s chest, satisfied with himself. Tsukishima rolls his eyes and resettles the notebook in Yamaguchi’s lap.

Shorter lunch periods, Yamaguchi decided as they walk down the stairs, would be a disaster. Japanese law says that lunch periods can’t be less than thirty minutes, and he appreciates that, because it doesn’t take him thirty minutes to eat, whereas thirty minutes to study is perfectly reasonable.

Tsukishima and he walk into class together and that’s not unusual. He can’t help but wonder if maybe they’re walking too close together, but bites the inside of his cheek to keep the panic from showing on his face.

Yamaguchi has difficulty paying attention in class. Not for any real reason, he’s simply distracted. He watches Tsukishima actually pay attention. He can’t help but think about their date a couple weeks ago. Between school, studying, and practice, they don’t have a lot of time to do any actual dating, so that had been something new. He was glad it had happened, even if he had had to melt a Prozac under his tongue beforehand.

He stares at his notes with a blank expression until the teacher asks him if he’s paying attention. Yamaguchi jumps and turns scarlet. The teacher doesn’t even wait for him to respond, just shakes his head and goes back to teaching. Tsukishima snorts and Yamaguchi wrinkles his nose at him. He pays more attention after that.


	11. Quiet

Sundays are quiet usually. Tsukishima likes quiet days. Tsukishima likes quiet. He wakes up feeling washed out. His mother seems concerned by the way he ghosts through his morning routine but knows better than to say anything because she won’t get back a real response.  
Sundays he’s designated as free days, only to be used for studying in the most extreme and panic inducing cases. This Sunday, he’s decided, should be spent with Yamaguchi, as they should be. He hasn’t planned far enough ahead to decide if they should do anything together, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.  
“Are you going somewhere, Kei?” His mom asks when he tosses on a jacket. He adjusts his glasses and looks up at her.  
“Yamaguchi’s.”  
“How long will you be out?” She asks. He shrugs and tugs on his shoes. She refrains from sniffing suspiciously then says, “Well, okay. Just don’t stay out too late.” He grunts in response and closes the door behind him. He’s several blocks away from home, and several blocks away from Yamaguchi’s when he realises he hasn’t actually made sure Yamaguchi is even home. He digs around in his jacket pocket for his cell phone.

>> Can I come over?  
>> Sure. Give me a few minutes to get dressed. I just got out of the shower.  
>> Yeah. I’m a couple minutes away anyway.  
>> You already started walking and forgot to ask to make sure I was home.  
>> Yeah.  
>> I’ll only be a little bit. I just have to put my clothes on.

Tsukishima puts his phone away and continues down the sidewalk to Yamaguchi’s place. The early afternoon is loud and heavy with people. He puts on his headphones and ignores them, scattering a few people out of his way with his indifferent height.  
Yamaguchi’s house is a little place where no one notices Tsukishima letting himself in; it’s nothing new. It’s fairly quiet and he idles in the front room. Yamaguchi’s mother notices him and smiles and says good afternoon. He nods and goes up the stairs when she walks away.  
Yamaguchi, wet haired and a little pink but fully dressed, opens the door as Tsukishima appears at the head of the stairs.  
“Hey, Tsukki!” He says, grinning at him. Tsukishima hums in response. Yamaguchi disappears back into his room and Tsukishima follows. After a moment’s hesitation, he closes the door behind him. Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to notice. Tsukishima sits down on Yamaguchi’s bed, watching him finish shoving his clothes into his hamper.  
“Did you want to do something, Tsukki? Otherwise, I was going to do a little extra studying. I’m close to falling behind in English.”  
“I didn’t know your grades were so bad.”  
“Well, they’re okay. But I don’t mind and I want to keep a little above average. I have to have something, right?” He laughs and Tsukishima snorts, but doesn’t protest the self-deprecation. “So?” Yamaguchi prompts, dropping down onto the bed.  
“I was kind of thinking, well, I wanted to take you for ice cream.,” Tsukishima says, avoiding Yamaguchi’s gaze. Yamaguchi laughs and stretches.  
“Help me study first.”  
“Okay.”  
Tsukishima does help, though he’s distracted by an urge to trace constellations into Yamaguchi’s skin. Eventually, Yamaguchi tosses the notebook across the room with a loud huff. Tsukishima was expecting this though it came a little sooner than he anticipated.  
“This is the last thing I wanted to be doing today,” Yamaguchi complains, rolling over to bury his face in his sheets. Tsukishima says nothing. Sitting with his back to the wall and his legs half over the side of the bed, he’s quite comfortable. And this angle is very nice for looking at Yamaguchi’s legs, splayed at strange angles to keep them from bending painfully off the bed.  
“What did you want to be doing today?” Tsukishima asks when it’s obvious Yamaguchi isn’t going to move unless prompted. He shifts his face to look at Tsukishima. Tsukishima thinks Yamaguchi’s squished face is adorable.  
“You,” Yamaguchi says with a completely straight face. Tsukishima turns scarlet. Yamaguchi laughs at him, his whole body shaking with the strain of laughing in the strange position.  
“Seriously.”  
“Mm, I had wanted to catch up on some sleep, but I just can’t sleep past ten anymore. It’s kind of disappointing. I just lie there trying to go back to sleep until I realise that it’s not happening,” Yamaguchi says, sighing loudly. Tsukishima smiles fondly.  
“That’s too bad. You look cute when you sleep.”  
“You’ve watched me sleep?” Yamaguchi asks, rolling over a little. Tsukishima blushes a little, leaning back against the wall.  
“Not the way you make it sound. Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep,” Tsukishima says, shrugging. Yamaguchi sits up, blushing.  
“That’s kind of sweet,” Yamaguchi says, voice saccharine. Tsukishima raises an eyebrow suspiciously. “I didn’t think you were the type.”  
“Neither did I,” Tsukishima agrees. Yamaguchi chuckles and bounces off of the bed. Tsukishima watches him dig around in the dresser for socks.  
“You said something about ice cream?”  
“I did,” Tsukishima agrees, levering himself up. Yamaguchi grins at him, hopping to pull on socks.  
“I just gotta pee, I’ll be right back,” Yamaguchi says once his socks are on, already halfway out his door. Tsukishima shrugs and idles uncomfortably. Yamaguchi bounces back into the room after a minute, grinning up at Tsukishima.  
“Are you ready to go now?” Tsukishima asks. Yamaguchi rummages in a drawer of his desk rather than answer. Tsukishima waits silently.  
“I have something,” Yamaguchi pauses, considering, “for us.” Tsukishima raises an eyebrow and waits. Yamaguchi will come to him, he always does. Yamaguchi walks over to him, a little flushed, and presents Tsukishima with a little blue box. Tsukishima’s face twists into bemusement.  
“Just open it, damn it,” Yamaguchi says, pushing it towards him again. Tsukishima takes it and lifts the lid. Inside is a, a splitter? Tsukishima tilts his head and picks it up.  
“That’s gay,” he says after a while. Yamaguchi resists the urge to punch him. Instead of saying anything else, Tsukishima digs in his pockets to unplug his headphones. He plugs in the splitter and reinserts his own headphones. He looks up at Yamaguchi, who presents him with a pair of his own. Tsukishima takes it but doesn’t plug it in.  
“Let’s go, first. It’s weird to walk through your house like that,” Tsukishima says. Yamaguchi shrugs and agrees, letting Tsukishima walk out first. They pause in the front way to pull on shoes and plug in Yamaguchi’s headphones. It’s a little close, close enough to walk hand in hand. They walk in relative silence, in their own little bubble, and Tsukishima can’t think of anything better than this.


	12. Apathy

Tsukishima likes Wednesday afternoons. There’s something about them, though he isn’t sure what. Wednesdays, he goes to Yamaguchi’s sometimes. They walk together, side by side with the splitter between them. He gets the urge to hold Yamaguchi’s hand but doesn’t. He can tell by the way Yamaguchi walks that this is enough PDA for him. They walk into the house, calling out quietly to his mom.  
“Tadashi, sweetheart? You’re home a little early,” his mom says, sticking her head into the hall. He takes off his headphones and Tsukishima follows suit, to be polite.  
“We kind of skipped out on individual practice today. We’re doing a practice match tomorrow and it was suggested that we go to bed early.”  
“Not that Hinata and Kageyama agreed,” Tsukishima adds dryly. Yamaguchi’s mom chuckles, used to Tsukishima’s quips about the duo. Yamaguchi rolls his eyes.  
“And they’re probably going to be kicked out in an hour or so,” Yamaguchi says, pulling his headphones out of the splitter. He toes off his shoes and walks up to his mom. She smiles at him and kisses his cheek.  
“Are you two going to study all night again?” She asks, watching Tsukishima unlace his shoes.  
“Probably,” Yamaguchi says, turning at the foot of the stairs to wait for Tsukishima. She nods, expecting this, and smiles at Tsukishima.  
“I’ll make a little extra dinner then. Don’t stay up too late, you’re supposed to be going to bed early, correct?” She chuckles at the look on Tsukishima’s face and disappears back into the living room. Tsukishima follows Yamaguchi up the stairs silently, frowning slightly.  
“I think your mom knows,” he says eventually, idling in front of Yamaguchi’s door. Yamaguchi looks back at him, hand on the doorknob to his door.  
“You think?”  
“She gave me this,” he flails a little, “look. I can’t describe it but there was something in her eyes.” He narrows his eyes suspiciously. Yamaguchi shrugs and pushes open his door. Tsukishima follows him silently.  
“Maybe she does. I don’t really know. My mom loves you, she already thinks of you as family.” Tsukishima considers this, sitting down on Yamaguchi’s bed. They spend the afternoon studying. Yamaguchi’s mom brings them dinner because they had lost track of time. Tsukishima falls asleep with his back against Yamaguchi’s bed.  
Tsukishima wakes up in the middle of the night. This isn’t the first time and it doesn’t surprise him. His back hurts a little but someone, Yamaguchi’s mom probably, had found an extra pillow and it was now stuffed between him and the bed, a blanket is draped over his knees. He looks around for Yamaguchi but he isn’t on the bed.  
Tsukishima stands, rubbing at his eyes. Why had he woken up? He walks out of the bedroom, looking around the hall. He walks down the hall to see the bathroom door ajar but dark. There’s Yamaguchi, staring blankly at the mirror.  
“What are you doing?” Tsukishima asks, walking over. Yamaguchi starts and flushes darkly, covering his face with a hand. Something about it is familiar and Tsukishima instinctively reaches out and takes Yamaguchi’s hand.  
“I just,” he mumbles, unsure what to say. “Mostly, I’ve grown out of it, I don’t like them but I don’t hate them. But sometimes,” he trails off and turns his face back to the mirror, staring at his freckles with a vaguely disgusted expression. “Sometimes I wish they would go away. It’s not really self-loathing or anything, I just,” he pauses, turning back to Tsukishima, “don’t like them. I wish I could love myself the way you’re always told you should.”  
Tsukishima isn’t sure what to say so he doesn’t say anything. Yamaguchi seems about to pull his hand away but Tsukishima pulls him close instead. He can’t be said to be the touchiest person on Earth, but there’s something about the other man’s warmth against his chest that he appreciates.  
“Maybe,” he says finally, “we’re not supposed to love ourselves.” He sounds pensive and Yamaguchi frowns a little in confusion until Tsukishima continues. “Maybe, we’re just not supposed to hate ourselves. Maybe, apathy is just as okay.”  
“Let’s go back to bed,” Yamaguchi whispers into Tsukishima’s shoulder after a while. Tsukishima nods, watching Yamaguchi’s face. He seems okay now. Tsukishima ignores the way that Yamaguchi’s eyes seem less bright then usual.  
They fetch out a futon that he’s sure they bought once he started falling asleep at Yamaguchi’s house. Yamaguchi offers Tsukishima a shirt that he’s positive was his at one point to sleep in. They hang up his uniform, he’ll shake it out tomorrow morning, and Tsukishima learns that Yamaguchi had tossed both their work out things in the laundry. He’s quite prepared, Tsukishima thinks. He falls asleep quite content.


	13. Constellations

Tsukishima has an idea. He’s been kicking it around for about two weeks. Ever since Yamaguchi had admitted to sometimes still hating his freckles, he’d been trying to think of a way to express himself. Two weeks ago, it had come to him. Yachi had mentioned something about freckles being like stars to Hinata, who’d been confused, and Yamguchi, within earshot, had blushed. It had come to him in that moment.  
He spent those two weeks trying to figure out how to execute what he wanted to do. He’d spent the last few days scouring the stores near him for exactly what he wanted. Yamaguchi had noticed his absence but didn’t comment, preferring to use the time apart to fit a little more practice in back of Shimada Mart.  
Yamaguchi asks him on Friday if he’s coming over for the weekend to study; there’s a rather large test Tuesday and Yamaguchi, predictably, was panicking. Tsukishima had found Thursday evening what he wanted, so he agreed without a thought. He anticipates staying up far too late for it to be practical to walk home, so he packs a bag with clothes and his notebooks.  
Tsukishima lets himself in, calling out politely. There isn’t much response, all the inhabitants were used to Tsukishima’s coming and goings. He takes off his shoes and walks towards the stairs, steps muffled by his socks.  
“Oh, Kei-kun, that’s you yes?” Yamaguchi’s mom calls from what he thinks is the kitchen. He swerves away from the stairs towards the kitchen.  
“Yes,” he responds, standing in the archway to the kitchen. She’s bent over, trying to find something in one of the cabinets. She pulls out a pan and straightens to look over at him.  
“Oh, good. Will you do me a favour, love?”  
“Sure,” he agrees, shrugging. She puts the pan down on the stove and opens a cupboard.  
“Will you get me down two of the tall mugs from the top shelf there?” He moves past her, reaching up to grab the handles of two of the mugs. She smiles at him when he puts them down on the counter beside the stove. She pats his arm appreciatively. “Thank you. I’m making soup for you two, tell Tadashi, won’t you?”  
“Of course,” he agrees, walking back out of the kitchen. He walks up the stairs silently, considering that Yamaguchi had told him that ‘she already considers you part of the family’. He knocks at Yamaguchi’s door then opens it. Yamaguchi is tangled in a half on shirt.  
“Oh, hey, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi says, slightly muffled by the shirt. His head pops out of the shirt finally, hair messy and face a little flushed. “You ready to study?” He asks, excitement over exaggerated with sarcasm. Tsukishima snorts and drops his bag beside the door.  
“Yeah. Your mom is making soup.”  
“Okay. Let’s get started then, and take a break when she’s done?” Yamaguchi suggests, turning to find his notebooks, scattered across his desk. Tsukishima nods and fishes out his notebooks from his bag then dropping down onto Yamaguchi’s bed.  
Yamaguchi sits down beside with his own notebooks. They argue for a time over the correct way to do the math homework and are interrupted by Yamaguchi’s mom and her tomato basil and spaghetti noodle soup in the tall mugs Tsukishima had fetched down for her.  
They finally call it a day around nine, yawning and stretching. Yamaguchi spreads out on the bed, sighing as he melts into the mattress, squishing his face half against the pillow. Tsukishima takes a moment to consider, then gets up and puts his notebooks away, tossing Yamaguchi’s onto the desk as well. He returns to the bed with a handful of plastic.  
“Wha’s that?” Yamaguchi asks, mumbling through the pillow. Tsukishima peels the plastic off the sheets and shows them to Yamaguchi: several sets of star stickers. He sits up a little, looking at Tsukishima, waiting for him to explain.  
“I want to do this,” is all Tsukishima says. Yamaguchi has no idea what he’s talking about, but nods anyway. Tsukishima sets the stickers aside and reaches out, asking with his eyes. Yamaguchi nods again and Tsukishima pulls his shirt off. Once it’s off, Yamaguchi starts to blush and his hands start to shake, anxiety kicking in, but he doesn’t move.  
“Here,” Tsukishima says, pushing his headphones and device in Yamaguchi’s hands, “put these on.” Yamaguchi can’t help but raise an eyebrow, even while he slips the headphones on. Tsukishima presses play and Yamaguchi is greeted by soft music, like a lullaby. Unsure what to do, he stays still.  
Tsukishima picks up a sheet of stickers and peels one off. He pauses to consider, then presses it onto Yamaguchi’s stomach; he squirms a little, ticklish. Tsukishima uses up the entire page, then another, and another. He covers Yamaguchi’s torso, back, and shoulders in star stickers.  
He seems nervous, picking up the last sheet of stickers. Yamaguchi watches him quietly, feeling strangely overwhelmed. Tsukishima peels off a sticker and carefully presses over a freckle on Yamaguchi’s cheekbone. Yamaguchi turns a deep auburn colour, finally realising what Tsukishima has been doing. He moves to take the headphones, to say something, to protest, but Tsukishima catches his hands. He doesn’t look at Yamaguchi, rather, he pulls Yamaguchi’s hands towards him and places a hesitant kiss on the back of each hand, turns them over and does the same on his palms.  
“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispers, barely audible. Tsukishima shakes his head and Yamaguchi realises that he’s embarrassed. He’s worried that if he stops, he’ll be too embarrassed to continue, Yamaguchi marvels. He steels himself and lets Tsukishima continue in silence. Tsukishima smoothes his thumb over Yamaguchi’s cheek. He cradles Yamaguchi’s cheek gently.  
“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi stutters, trembling slightly. Tsukishima tilts his head forward, resting his forehead against Yamaguchi’s. Yamaguchi clenches his hands in the sheets, trying to stop the shaking. He’s overwhelmed by the intimacy of Tsukishima’s hands against him, their breath mingling. He leans forward a little and Tsukishima closes the distance, pressing his lips against Yamaguchi’s with a tenderness that renews his shaking.  
Yamaguchi lets go of the sheets, pressing his trembling hands against Tsukishima’s shoulders, curls his fingers into the fabric of his shirt. Tsukishima hesitates, pulling away slightly. Yamaguchi is gratified to see his scarlet cheeks and the stutter in the rise and fall of his chest. Tsukishima reaches up and pulls the headphones off of Yamaguchi, running his fingers through his hair.  
“I,” Tsukishima starts then stops. The soft look in Yamaguchi’s eyes and the way he just sits, waiting, trusting him, shakes his confidence to the core. “I like them,” he says finally, touching a star gently. “You’re,” he pauses again, “made of stardust, Tadashi. You’re the,” he swallows, trying not to keep Yamaguchi’s wide eyed gaze. “If I’m the moon, you’re the stars around me, ever present and beautiful.”  
He feels like a fool, like he’s making an ass of himself, then Yamaguchi’s eyes are wet and he bites his lip and Tsukishima is suddenly acquainted with the kind of panic Yachi and Yamaguchi seem so used to. After a moment, Yamaguchi buries his face in Tsukishima’s chest, trembling softly. Tsukishima wraps uncertain arms around Yamaguchi, tracing a finger between the star stickers on his back.  
“What happened to not being a romantic?” Yamaguchi asks, muffled by Tsukishima’s chest. He shrugs, blushing. Yamaguchi tilts his head up, chin resting against Tsukishima’s chest. “I’m not complaining. I don’t mind the silly, sappy things.” His cheeks are wet and Tsukishima presses a finger to a couple of stars, sticking them back into place over Yamaguchi’s freckles.  
“I think you’re beautiful,” Tsukishima says, confidence returning slowly, looking at Yamaguchi’s wet smile. Yamaguchi turns his head, pressing his cheek against Tsukishima’s chest and they sit like that for a while.  
Yamaguchi is reminded of when they were children. Tsukishima was never the most expressive person, but as he grew up he’d grow detached, guarded, even around him. He thinks that sometimes he should have been hurt by Tsukishima’s tongue when turned against him, but it just made him sad. Like this, though, Yamaguchi remembers that Tsukishima tries hard not to feel because he doesn’t like being hurt.  
“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi says suddenly, stretching his arms up to curl around Tsukishima’s shoulders. Tsukishima looks down at him, humming in response. “I’d never do anything to hurt you, you know that, right?” There’s something urgent in his voice and Yamaguchi feels a little foolish, especially when he looks up to see Tsukishima’s surprised expression.  
“Where’d that come from?”  
“I just, I wouldn’t. You’re mean sometimes, but you’re my best friend, even before my,” he hesitates, “boyfriend.” The word has a hint of a question to it, like he’s not sure that’s the word he’s looking for. “I like that about you, too, anyway,” Yamaguchi adds. Tsukishima feels vaguely guilty for the times he’s made fun of Yamaguchi, but he nods.  
Yamaguchi squirms a little then moves up on his knees, pressing his lips against Tsukishima’s. Tsukishima thinks he’ll never get used to the heat that builds in his chest, pulling heat from his hands to make them clammy. Yamaguchi pulls back and smiles at him. Tsukishima is overwhelmed by the urge to kiss the stars on his face, so he does, pressing little kisses over every star he’d placed on Yamaguchi’s cheeks, making him laugh.  
Of course that’s when Yamaguchi’s mom knocks on the door. She opens it a moment afterwards, sticking her head in. Yamaguchi wrenches himself away from Tsukishima but she doesn’t seem to notice. She does blush a deep colour and cover her mouth.  
“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to know what you two wanted for dinner.”  
Tsukishima can feel his racing heartbeat mirrored in Yamaguchi’s wrist, which he still has in his hand. Yamaguchi hides his face in his free hand then takes a breath.  
“I don’t really care. I always like whatever you make. Tsukki?” Tsukishima shakes his head and Yamaguchi looks at his mom. She nods and makes to shut the door. “Mom?”  
“Yes, sweetheart?”  
“You, you don’t mind?”  
“So long as you’re quiet, love,” she says, not a hint of mischief in her voice. Yamaguchi makes a strangled noise and Tsukishima feels a mixture of heated embarrassment and pride at that perfect delivery.  
“That’s not what I meant!” Yamaguchi manages. She smiles at them.  
“I know. I simply couldn’t resist. No, sweetheart, I don’t mind. I love you, and you’re not hurting anyone. Unconditional love doesn’t hinge on who you love in return.” She turns her motherly smile on Tsukishima. “And I always sort of knew that Tadashi would be the one to tame you.” Her smile quirks at one edge and she shuts the door behind her.  
“Oh my god,” Yamaguchi breathes finally, moving back to Tsukishima. They aren’t as close now, the intimate silence broken, but it’s still comforting to be together. Tsukishima stares at the closed door blankly, head tilted in thought.  
“Constellations,” he says into the silence. Yamaguchi looks at him, confused. Tsukishima turns to him, intending to pick up from where they’d been interrupted. He touches a finger to a star sticker on Yamaguchi’s chest. “Let me trace constellations into your skin.”  
“Wait,” Yamaguchi interrupts, taking Tsukishima’s hand. He leans up again, touching his nose to Tsukishima’s. “Thank you for this. I appreciate it a lot.” Tsukishima just nods, tilting his head down to kiss Yamaguchi again. He wraps his arms around Yamaguchi’s waist, pulls him closer. Yamaguchi curls an arm around Tsukishima’s shoulders, revelling in the warmth of the other man, in the closeness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being in college and having two jobs is hard, but I'm on spring break right now and I reeeeaally wanted to share this one, plus I have to go to my county caucus on Tuesday and that always takes forever, so here it is early!


	14. The Tell-Tale Kiss

Yamaguchi gasps, feeling the breath pulled out of him by his impact with the hard brick wall. He arches up and away and into Tsukishima. Tsukishima’s fingers lace through Yamaguchi’s. His face feels hot and he feels a moment of irritation at the calm look on Tsukishima’s face. Tsukishima tightens his grip on Yamaguchi’s hand, then presses it into the wall beside Yamaguchi’s head. The feeling of Tsukishima’s hand on his hip makes his breath catch.

Yamaguchi turns his face, trying to gasp out a protest about being late, but Tsukishima presses a little closer and kisses down his neck. Thoughts desert Yamaguchi and his eyes roll up, eyelids flickering. Tsukishima makes a sound suspiciously like a purr and traces over his collar bone.

“We, ah! Tsukki, we’re going to be, mm, late,” Yamaguchi manages eventually, pushing lightly at Tsukishima’s chest. He’s distracted by the feeling of Tsukishima’s chest under his hand and lets his head fall back.

Tsukishima couldn’t believe they were doing this, but he just doesn’t feel like stopping. Ennoshita had called a short break because even the heat was starting to get everyone, even Nishinoya. He’d gone to get something to drink and Yamaguchi had happily agreed to come with him. Tsukishima had looked down at Yamaguchi to see a puppy dog sort of expression when Yamaguchi took his hand.

“Mm, Kei?” He’d said, and Tsukishima had immediately started to feel flustered. Yamaguchi wore a determined undertone under that puppy dog face. “Kiss me,” he’d finished, so Tsukishima had. And then they’d sort of, not stopped.

That was how they ended up here, in the middle of club time, pressed together against the wall beside the vending machine. Yamaguchi was too flustered and distracted to be concerned about being seen, but, it was at such a time that everyone was either gone or doing club activities.

“Ahn, Tsukki, seriously, ohh,” Yamaguchi trails off in a surprised half sigh, melting into Tsukishima. His head falls back and he can’t fully supress a soft whine when Tsukishima pulls away. He takes a moment to compose himself, half supported by Tsukishima’s hand still on his hip. Tsukishima, damn him, seems perfectly in control of himself, aside from that tiny smirk that means he’s biting down on a comment. Yamaguchi narrows his eyes at Tsukishima then rubs the back of his hand petulantly. Tsukishima just laughs at him.

Yamaguchi is distracted righting his shirt when they walk back into the gym, so he doesn’t notice Hinata staring at them, wide eyed; they had been too caught up with each other to notice Hinata fleeing from peeking around the vending machine. Tsukishima does notice his wide eyed stare, as do Nishinoya and Tanaka. Tsukishima raises an eyebrow at Hinata challengingly and bites back a snort when Hinata turns scarlet and turns away sharply. Tanaka and Nishinoya on the other hand, have no trouble laughing aloud, obnoxiously so, at the boy’s strained expression.

All this in a moment that Yamaguchi misses. He looks up at the laughter. He takes in Hinata’s scarlet ears and stiff back, Tsukishima’s suspiciously collected expression, and Tanaka and Nishinoya’s laughter in another moment. He takes a deep breath and turns on heel to flee. Tsukishima seizes hold of the back of his shirt.

“You have to plant your feet and stare them down,” Tsukishima says, quietly for only Yamaguchi. Hesitantly, face dark, Yamaguchi turns around. He doesn’t look at anyone, a bit obviously perhaps, and instead bends to fiddle with his shoelaces.

“You know, don’t apes interpret that as a sign of dominance?” Yamaguchi asks after a moment, grabbing onto his sense of humour like a lifeline. Tsukishima looks down at him, face completely serious.

“Isn’t that what I said?”

Yamaguchi bites his lip so hard it turns purple, as does his face a little, so as not to laugh. He straightens, a little more confident. Using Yamaguchi as an excuse to have been standing in the doorway, now he’s finished cooling off his blushing, they move into the gym, as casually as possible. Ennoshita calls practice back into action and they split up for a match.

Hinata must have passed his news to Kageyama because every time Tsukishima and he are side by side at the net, he keeps shooting furtive glances at Tsukishima. The rest of practice passes this way, and it starts to annoy Tsukishima very quickly. He doesn’t care what Kageyama thinks, but whatever it is he wishes Kageyama would just say it.

Finally, at the end of a set, he turns to Kageyama and snaps, “What?” The whole side of the net goes quiet; the first years learned quickly to avoid so much as getting caught in the eddies of an angry Tsukishima.

“What?” Kageyama echoes, irritated more by Tsukishima’s tone than anything else.

“Would you stop giving me those stupid looks? You’re not being surreptitious; you just look ridiculous.” Kageyama puffs up but looks vaguely confused, forcing Tsukishima to take a deep breath so as not to yell. Good lord how stupid is this kid?

“Sneaky,” Narita supplies in passing, a ball under one arm. Kageyama puffs up a bit more, the confusion gone from his face.

“What looks?” He demands eventually. Tsukishima presses two fingers into his temple.

“The ‘I’m uncertain how to take the new information that this man actually has feelings beside anger’ looks,” Tanaka cuts in, grinning at both of them. Yamaguchi, watching quietly up to this point, darkens again and Tsukishima can see his knees lock with the effort of not fleeing. “You’ve been doin’ it all game. It was funny at first but I think it’s started to affect your focus, dude.”

“Yeah!” Nishinoya agrees, jumping into the conversation both figuratively and literally. “Though I think it’s hilarious still. It’d be funnier if it made Tsukishima uncomfortable, but I can’t have everything.”

Yamaguchi is trembling like a terrified rabbit at this point, vaguely wishing he could disappear. This is exactly what he was afraid of and here it is, playing out in front of him like a nightmare. He resists the urge to pinch himself, hoping it’s a nightmare.

“Nah, it’d be funnier if it only made Tsukishima uncomfortable,” Nishinoya amends after a little more arguing. “But it doesn’t.” Yamaguchi digs his nails into his palms to keep from taking a step back when the group turns to look at him. Ennoshita appears from somewhere, face dark with danger.

“Then, just perhaps, you should be practicing?” He makes it sound like a suggestion but everyone jumps to obey. Yamaguchi is stuck on the spot, unable to move even to bury his face in his hands. Ennoshita claps his shoulder and walks away. That breaks the spell and Yamaguchi buries his face in his hands, wanting desperately to sink to the floor in a ball and just forget that had happened.

“Um, Yamaguchi?” Yachi interrupts his wallowing. He starts in surprise, dropping his hands. She really was so cute and he immediately felt both a little better and even more flustered. “I’m not sure what that was about, but don’t be embarrassed! I’m sure no one here thinks less of you, for whatever, um, Tsukishima did?” She trails off into a question, embarrassed now because that didn’t make much sense. But he does feel better so he smiles at her.

“Thanks. I’m sure you’re right.” He isn’t, not in the least, despite the lack of declarations of corruption or sickness or whatever, but he can’t tell her that. Yachi appears to comforted by this and walks away. The rest of practice passes slightly uncomfortable but mostly normal.

At the end of practice, undressing in the club room, Hinata shuffles up to Yamaguchi, red faced and avoiding his gaze. Yamaguchi pulls on his shirt and looks down at Hinata sidelong, lips twisted uncomfortably. Hinata can’t seem to collect his thoughts.

“Yes?” Yamaguchi prompts after a pause. Hinata tugs at the hem of shirt, looks away, then finally looks back up at him.

“So, um, what’s it like, being with a guy?” Hinata asks, quietly for him and much too loud for Yamaguchi, who stares at him, dumbfounded. Hinata squirms under his gaze.

“It’s, uh, like being in a relationship?” Yamaguchi says finally, looking anywhere but at Hinata. No one seems to have noticed their conversation.

“No, I mean,  _ with _ a guy?” Hinata persists and Yamaguchi stops, frozen halfway into his pants. He really does seem to be frozen, eyes wide, and Hinata panics a little. “Yamaguchi? Yamaguchi? Oh my god, I think I broke Yamaguchi!” Everyone turns at the exclamation. Despite all the eyes, Yamaguchi seems still to be frozen. Hinata shakes at his shoulder and he moves, hurriedly pulling on his pants.

“No, no, no, absolutely not, under any circumstances am I talking about that, with anyone! Besides, I don’t know,” Yamaguchi snaps finally, cheeks maroon. He seizes his bag and shoes. “Absolutely not!” He turns to walk away. “Sorry, Hinata, but definitely not.”

“You don’t know?” Of course that’s the one thing Hinata latches onto. Yamaguchi stiffens.

“No, I don’t.”

“So you haven’t, you know?”

“No!” Yamaguchi shouts, sounding strangled. He flees, ignoring the curious gazes of the rest of the team. Hinata looks over at Kageyama, seeming helpless, but Kageyama shrugs.

“What the hell did you say to him?” Tanaka asks, half grinning. His voice is stern but slightly amused. Tsukishima, however, gives Hinata a dark look from behind Tanaka and Hinata squeaks, hiding behind Kageyama. Hinata admits after a bit more glaring and coaxing that he’d asked what being with a guy was like. Unlike Yamaguchi, Tanaka and Tsukishima needed no clarification. Tsukishima sighs irritably, resisting the urge to smack a palm to his forehead.

“Idiot,” he comments before walking out of the club room. Nishinoya laughs, bumping into Hinata.

“I gotta admit, Hinata, what’d ya expect from that one?” The door bangs shut behind Tsukishima. Yamaguchi is leaning against the side of the building, face in his hands. He peeks through his fingers at Tsukishima’s approach.

“That was terrible,” he whispers, barely audible through his hands. “I can’t deal with that much attention in one day, especially that kind. I feel dried out, like I have a really bad sunburn.” Tsukishima leans against the building beside him, unsure what to say, so he says nothing. This appears to be a reasonable course of action when Yamaguchi eventually sighs and drops his hands.

“I think,” he says, pushing away from the wall, “I just want to go home now and sleep. Possibly forever.”

“I believe that’s called death,” Tsukishima says, walking beside Yamaguchi. His steps drag, his shoulders slumped.

“Or is it a coma,” Yamaguchi suggests quietly. They walk in silence for some time. They stop at the split off between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s paths home. Yamaguchi sighs and stomps his foot suddenly. Tsukishima looks over at him. “I was okay! I was okay, it wasn’t bothering me much and then, and then!” He can’t finish so he trails off into spluttering anger.

“I shouldn’t have-”

“No! No, you’re fine,” Yamaguchi interrupts, reaching out to twine his fingers through Tsukishima’s. “It was just; I can’t believe he would ask that. No, more than that. I can’t believe he’d just assume!”

“I can. This is Hinata you’re talking about,” Tsukishima comments, running his thumb over Yamaguchi’s knuckles soothingly. Yamaguchi snorts and sighs.

“Yeah, okay,” Yamaguchi concedes, moving a little closer to Tsukishima. After a moment, he sighs, and let’s go of Tsukishima’s hand.

“I’m going to go home and go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah,” Tsukishima agrees, putting on his headphones when Yamaguchi turns away. He watches Yamaguchi go, considering. He supposes that the assumption might not have been as out of place if they’d moved a little faster; it had been several months, or more specifically, exactly five months and ten days, but who’s counting. He walks home in contemplative silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno. I'm not good at Hinata. I'll probably re-do this one sometime.  
> Someone linked me this and it's amazing and relevant - http://tessa18-yama.tumblr.com/post/140090817707/im-too-lazy-for-coloring-i-just-love-making


	15. 14.5: Research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorta sexy things?

Yamaguchi leans back in his chair, frowning. He’d meant to go to bed but he couldn’t stop thinking about what Hinata had said. What _was_ it like? He sighs, staring blankly at his computer screen, feeling vaguely ashamed of himself.

Forums, he decides, are strange. He hadn’t meant to do research of all things, but it’d sort of happened. Somehow he ended up on a Dutch forum, reading through experiences and tips after allowing the browser to automatically translate into Japanese. It was a little clunky, but he got the gist.

Suddenly, he’s hit by what he’s doing. He probably shouldn’t be ashamed, but anxiety and shame are fast friends and tend to intrude on private moments. He exists out of the tab hurriedly, rubbing a hand over his face.

“What the hell, man?” Yamaguchi whispers to himself. He goes to bed feeling strange, not quite ashamed and not quite confident but not apathetic. He sighs and pulls the blankets over his head. “Ridiculous,” he mumbles, trailing off as sleep claims him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post this early because I'm finished and I just am so excited to share the ending of this with you all. Thanks for coming all the way through with me!

“Tsukki, Tsukki, merry Christmas!”

“Your family doesn’t even celebrate Christmas really,” Tsukishima comments, looking up from his notebook. Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to care.

Standing in front of Tsukishima’s desk with a package in both hands, Yamaguchi seems about to bounce on his toes happily. Christmas wasn’t even for another three days, but Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to care about that, either. He wiggles the package. Tsukishima rolls his eyes and takes it.

Tsukishima opens it up and pulls out a shirt. He stares at it for a moment then sighs heavily. By the size, it’s obviously meant for him. Yamaguchi grins at him, violently supressing his laughter. The shirt is a dark blue but that’s not the problem, though he doesn’t think he looks that great in blue. The problem is the graphic of two crows on a branch together with the words ATTEMPTED MURDER emblazoned underneath them.

A student behind Tsukishima bursts into half stifled laughter and Tsukishima lowers the shirt. Yamaguchi smiles at him innocently. Tsukishima is unsure how to react to this, aside from the shirt being mildly embarrassing in and of itself. Then, Yamaguchi fishes under some tissue paper and pulls out another of the same shirt. In his own size. Tsukishima sighs again.

“You bought matching shirts for us,” Tsukishima states, half a question and half simply sarcasm. Yamaguchi nods, still smiling at Tsukishima innocently. “Why?”

“For when you take me to the New Years festival,” Yamaguchi replies. Tsukishima rubs at his hair and rolls his eyes.

“I am never wearing this outside of the house and you know it,” he accuses. Yamaguchi’s smile takes on a mischievous slant, though his eyes widen in innocent surprise.

“But I bought it for you,” Yamaguchi says, eyes wide. Tsukishima takes a very deep breath.

“I will not wear this in public unless it is the only clean shirt in my house, possibly not even then,” Tsukishima states, face blank. Yamaguchi sticks his tongue out at him.

“Well, I’ll wear it then,” Yamaguchi huffs. He tries to look offended but has difficulty biting back a small smile. Tsukishima just sighs and sticks his nose back into his notes, to hide his smile.

He wore the damn shirt. Tsukishima almost thought he wouldn’t, but he did. Of course he did. Tsukishima stares at him vaguely while he putters about the kitchen making tea. It’s the first time in a while that Yamaguchi’s been over to his house, but he’d insisted on making the tea. He’d also insisted they get together for a while before going to the festival, so here they were, sitting in his house.

His mother had been slightly offended that Yamaguchi was making the tea when she came downstairs from getting dressed but had let it slide when Yamaguchi laughed it off and Akiteru, home for the holidays, had assured her that he’d insisted. Which he had. Strenuously.

So now, all three Tsukishima’s are sitting in the living room with tea that Yamaguchi had made them. His mother didn’t seem to mind, and had joked it was like having a more considerate son than her two rascals. Yamaguchi had laughed with her while Tsukishima’s ears turned pink and Akiteru cocked an eyebrow when he noticed the extra colour.

“So, you two have any plans besides wandering around?” Akiteru asks after a while of pleasant small talk, and a small conversation about that damn shirt. Tsukishima shrugs and Yamaguchi happily tells him that they’re going to comment snidely on everything while wandering, so yes.

“Oh, the fireworks are going to be so pretty,” Mom Tsukishima sighs, eyes distant, like she does every year. “I remember when-”

“We know,” both boys interrupt. She tells stories every year, and recently it’s been the same one about being pregnant over the New Years. She laughs at them then tells it anyway when Yamaguchi points out that he doesn’t know.

Akiteru and their mother leave first, saying that they want to start before it gets too crowded and they have to wait in any particularly long lines. Tsukishima let’s them go, saying they’ll stay behind and clean up, which they do. More than that, he wants to press Yamaguchi up against the wall and kiss away his breath, kiss him until he’s gasping and red and clinging to Tsukishima to stay upright. That’s not exactly what happens.

“Just put it in the sink,” Tsukishima says, exasperated at Yamaguchi’s need to wash everything before it even gets washed. “It’s just tea, it comes right off.”

“I’m being polite,” Yamaguchi replies pleasantly, never once hesitating in his movement. Tsukishima sighs, leaning against the table. He can’t see Yamaguchi’s self satisfied little smile from this position, but he knows it’s there; he can feel it. Tsukishima clicks his tongue and pouts. If pointed out that he’s definitely pouting, he would definitely deny it vehemently, but it’s a pout nonetheless. And Yamaguchi takes great pleasure in pointing this out once he turns around.

“Aw, don’t pout,” he says, almost purring. Tsukishima’s nose wrinkles and he informs Yamaguchi in no certain terms that he is not pouting, only to have his words laughed off and cut off by Yamaguchi’s arms snaking around his neck. He hadn’t even noticed the other man moving towards him. “Don’t pout. I’ll stop ignoring you, I promise.”

Tsukishima is mildly embarrassed by the way that the first teasing brush of Yamaguchi’s lips against his leaves him immediately breathless. Yamaguchi touches his nose to Tsukishima’s lightly and he puffs out a derisive snort. Yamaguchi ignores this in favour of pressing his lips gently against the corner of Tsukishima’s mouth. He flutters kisses along Tsukishima’s jaw and cheeks, all the way up to the corners of his eyes before finally, finally, coming back down.

Yamaguchi’s kiss is gentle but Tsukishima is not a particularly patient person. He presses hard against Yamaguchi, tilting his head and ignoring the way his glasses skew a little. Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, he digs his nails lightly into Tsukishima’s shoulders and presses back just as fiercely. Tsukishima is pleasantly surprised when Yamaguchi forces his way back into the lead, perfectly content to let Yamaguchi leave little nail marks in his skin and nip painfully at his bottom lip.

Tsukishima is breathless when Yamaguchi, appearing just fine, pulls away. He has that self satisfied little smile on his face again and Tsukishima wants to make it melt away, wants to make Yamaguchi come apart.

“The festival?” Yamaguchi says, smiling innocently. “Are we still going?”

“Oh, right,” Tsukishima replies dumbly. He wants to smack the little smile off Yamaguchi’s face when it widens into a tiny smirk. He doesn’t, though, and lets Yamaguchi lead him out of the house.

The two of them have gotten into a little rhythm of going to festivals of all kinds, no matter how small, and wandering around eating and quietly making fun of people. Or, rather, Yamaguchi eats and Tsukishima makes snide comments while Yamaguchi snickers along with him quietly and adds the occasional comment of his own.

Yamaguchi thinks, his long friendship with Tsukishima is most definitely a point against his character, rather than for, and this romantic endeavour has got to be even worse for him. His suspicions that he’s getting worse are confirmed by the amount of times he joins in. Tsukishima would tell him it’s just him gaining the confidence to speak his mind but Yamaguchi likes to pretend he’s a good person through and through, so he blames it on Tsukishima, who doesn’t mind.

It’s the fireworks that they’d really come for, so before they start, the two of them search out a good spot, high and clear enough to see without too many people to interrupt their romantic scene, or worse, get crowded against each other so that they’re being touched.

They sit on a fence overlooking the festival and watch the fireworks burst over their heads. Their solitude emboldens Yamaguchi, and he leans against Tukishima happily. Tsukishima wraps an arm around him after a moment of hesitation. They sit in comfortable silence until the peak of the fireworks.

Tsukishima turns his head, touching his forehead to Yamaguchi’s. He keeps one arm around Yamaguchi and raises the other to cradle Yamaguchi’s cheek. The warm little smile of Yamaguchi’s face heats up the base of his throat and makes him feel like his palms are clammy. Maybe they are. He tilts his head slightly forward, asking. Yamaguchi turns his face away, offering his cheek instead. Tsukishima rolls his eyes and kisses Yamaguchi’s cheek.

“Tsukki?” Yamaguchi says after a while, breathless and giggly from the kisses Tsukishima places over his cheek, jaw, and neck. Tsukishima hums a question, not pausing in his assault. “Do you prefer it when I call you by your first name?”

Tsukishima stops, face pressed into the crook of Yamaguchi’s shoulder. Despite all appearances, Tsukishima is in fact quite clingy, and nuzzles into Yamaguchi’s skin while he thinks.

“Do you?”

“I don’t know. I like it when you call me by my name in intimate situations. It makes me all warm inside,” Yamaguchi says, laughing a little in embarrassment at the admission. Tsukishima kisses the skin under his lips and raises his head.

“Maybe you should do that, then, the way I do it,” Tsukishima says, shrugging. It wasn’t something he’d thought about much. Yamaguchi tilts his face up until his nose touches Tsukishima’s. He says nothing for a long time, simply letting their breaths mingle and heat the little space between them. Tsukishima takes a breath to say something, anything, anything to break the silent heat between them.

“Kei,” Yamaguchi interrupts, tilting his face closer. “Kiss me.”

He hadn’t thought that Yamaguchi saying his first name, saying it like that, would slam the air from his lungs and heat up his whole body the way it does. Butterflies the size of hedgehogs run rampant in his stomach, clawing up into his diaphragm. He stares, dumbstruck, at Yamaguchi for a long moment before connecting their lips gently.

Tsukishima is overly careful, overly gentle because the way Yamaguchi trembles makes him think he’ll break the other boy if he presses too hard, holds him too firmly. But he wants to. He wants to hold Yamaguchi so close that he can’t tell where his body ends and Yamaguchi’s begins. He wants to leave bruises on his hips and arms and neck to remind Yamaguchi that he’s his, forever, always, his.

Yamaguchi’s eyes are closed but Tsukishima can’t close his. He wants to burn the beautiful image of Yamaguchi’s fluttering eyelashes and flushed cheeks into his memory, wants to remember forever the way the bursting fireworks send flickers of coloured light over his dark cheeks, sends harsh shadows over his cheekbones, the way his eyelashes cast long shadows over his skin. He wants to be able to touch every freckle on Yamaguchi’s body with his eyes closed.

Yamaguchi gasps and pulls back, blinking wide, wet eyes. Tsukishima’s hands are shaking lightly against Yamaguchi’s back and cheek. Tsukishima’s breathing is hasty and disjointed, almost panting. Tsukishima knows that he’s just as flushed as Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi lets out a long breath, heartbeat slamming in his ears. That wasn’t what he expected. He’d thought, a little harder, maybe a little more intense, but that was fire in his bones. He’d meant to tease Tsukishima, the way he had earlier in the day. He’d meant to make him uncomfortably warm and take him home and work off that heat.

The last fireworks fade away and Yamaguchi lets his forehead thump against Tsukishima’s shoulder. Tsukishima hums quietly and Yamaguchi is pleased to hear a shake in his chest, pleased to feel his hands tremble against his back. Yamaguchi forces his nerves away, forces his trembling down. He still feels like his heart is going to hammer its way out of his chest. He feels overwhelmed.

Yamaguchi is widely regarded as the Tsukishima Kei expert. People expect that he knows what every quirk and twitch in Tsukishima’s blank expressions mean. People are correct, of course, he had regarded himself as the Tsukishima Kei expert for some time now. Still, the depth and breadth of Tsukishima’s emotions surprised him. Yamaguchi had glimpsed this before when Tsukishima had covered every freckle with stars and stared into his eyes like he really thought that Yamaguchi, plain, ordinary, Yamaguchi, really was the stars. He feels like crying.

“Tadashi,” Tsukishima whispers, pressing his face into Yamaguchi’s hair. Yamaguchi hums brokenly and Tsukishima rubs up his back vaguely, as if on instinct. “I love you.” His voice breaks with intensity, with sincerity, and Yamaguchi can’t stop his eyes from filling. His own voice cracks and he hiccups and he’s distracted by Tsukishima’s soothing hum and soothing hands so he starts over a few times before finally whispering.

“I love you too, Kei.”


End file.
